Square Toad Blog

Ode to a highway toad

Here is an Ode to a Toad that was submited on the SquareToad website back in October 2005, by Bob Jones (Humorist, Comedian, Poet, Speaker and Columnist), from the U.K.

ODE TO  A HIGHWAY TOAD        

The toad only knows how to crawl,

 

He pulls no other strokes at all;

   

Which makes it difficult for the toad,

 

When he has to cross the road.

 

Once a year toads return home

To mate and spawn by the load.

 

(if it wasn't for the road)

 

Or to be more exact,

The cars that compact.

 

If it takes the poor old toad.

 

Ten minutes to cross the road

   

It doesn't take a statistician

 

To work out, it's a suicide mission.

   

Nothing could rival

 

Toad's sense of survival,

   

Toady does what comes naturally:

 

He doesn't look right,

   

He doesn't look left,

 

And if it's all clear (or not),

   

He doesn't bother a jot,

 

He just crawls out into the road;

   

And sooner or later, splat!

 

That's that,

   

Toad's flat . . .

 

It's the Code

   

Of The Highway Toad!

 

Copyright Bob Jones 2005

Toad Poem - La Rana (The Toad)

Here's an Ode originally posted on Squaretoad on October 12, 2005 by Maria Tabor...

                                                La Rana (The Toad)

    I sit on a boulder in the Trinity River and make peace with my fear of the bear. I will leave it here with the tadpoles around my ankles, speckled stones, tall grass and the toad's eyes just above the surface.        

 

 
    I will try to sit in stillness like that toad and watch water rush over fallen firs, duck my head to avoid a swallowtail flying into me. One eye is on a garter snake swimming S's and the other on a lizard beneath the coolness of a redwood shadow.

    There are greater fears out there, a parent's death, a The river deafens all sounds save the truth of rapids, the croak of a toad, the splash of a foot.

Funny ode to the scrotum of a toad

Who knows how long this page will stay up - it's one of those random pages hanging off of a site that may or may not continue to support the random content that is sitting there into the future.  But, by the looks of the pages here there are some old school "hackers" taking care of the stuff, so it should continue to live somewhere.

Anyway, the real point here is that someone actually wrote an Ode to the Scrotum of a Toad!

Couldn't ask for a better addition to the Ode to a Toad and Toad bits categories of our site...

Ode to a Toad: Darling Toad....

Here is another Ode to a Toad that was submited on the SquareToad website back in October 2005 by Andrea Da Costa (Pieces of My Heart):

Darling Toad...

Oh darling toad of the slimy skin

Could there be more to you within?

I'd like to believe you are a prince

But that fairytale died for me long since!
 

Oh darling toad all covered in warts

Could you be a prince of sorts?

I can't imagine you on a shining steed

But to believe in you I feel a need!

 

If I should deign to give you a kiss

Would I get warts upon my lips?

Could a slime like you make my heart sing?

If I'm to find out I must do this thing!

 

*Mwah* There! The deed is done!

Damn! I knew you wouldn't be one!!!

Ode to a Toad: HOW TO BUILD A BETTER TOAD IMAGE

Here is an Ode to a Toad that was submited on the SquareToad website back in October 2005 by Judith Cody:

HOW TO BUILD A BETTER TOAD IMAGE

 

One was in the shrubbery

Quite slippery and

(What do you think?)

Rubbery!

Two were jiggling under the roses

In questionable

(Well look at that?)

Poses.

Three entered my doorway

To ask shocking

(Now what?)

Directions.

Four delivered packages of

(Could this be?)

Toadities!

Dozens of marvelous

(Duh!)

Toad particular, solid gold currencies!

Then the four toads told me,

All the gleaming gold money

Was barter for me if only I’d

Write them a flattering poem.

Which I did,

This is it

Which they loved

Gave me gold

Lovely gold

Lovely, lovely

Generous

Gorgeous

TOADS!

©Copyright 2006, Judith Cody